my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
