i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
