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Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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