I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
