Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
