My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
