I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
