nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize