U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I hate all girls vehemently.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize