I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
