At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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