The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
