I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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