"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
