But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
