butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Thank you for not boning my boss.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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