so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
