watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
