Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm both gender and math confused
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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