i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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