If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
