is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
