omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
