is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
