Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
