I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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