just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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