rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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