As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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