You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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