she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
