I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
