K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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