Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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