I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
