WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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