put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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