I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
