Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
you never un-have a 4some
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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