worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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