Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
