my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
