Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
