is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
