I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
