If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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