i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
