So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize