i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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