HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
