I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
