I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
