Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
