the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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