Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
