It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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