it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Everclear isn't food dammit
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
