so explain again why im purple
no
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
