Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
