you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
