its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize