dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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