I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
