I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
