Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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