lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
