so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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